Updates on the Babe

What a few days it has been. I finally made it out of the hospital on Saturday morning. I was so excited to get to see my little man. We drove right over. Right when I was wheeled into his little suite (they all have their own private rooms in this NICU) I was completely overwhelmed by his little presence. He was breathtaking to me. I could not fight back the tears and actually I didn't even try.

Up to this point he had been intubated when they picked him up from my hospital to take him over to the NICU and given surfactin to help the lungs out. He had two IV's one through his hand and one through the belly button. One for "food" fluids and one to give or get blood counts. He had a pulse rate cuff on his foot and little pads for his oxygen readings. Paxton problem is the lungs. That is the only problem and the problem is actually he is getting plenty of oxygen in, he just has a hard time putting the CO2 out. So they have to get readings every 4 hours to see how the number is. If it is good they ween him from oxygen if they stay the same they keep his oxygen the same and if they get higher they play the waiting game. So it is really important to get that number down. Well the very first night they thought he was doing well to extubate so they did and his numbers rose too high. So they had to intubate again.

Well the morning we arrived which was yesterday morning which honestly seems like weeks ago, he was doing okay. Within the first two hours we were there they lowered his oxygen three times. And by that evening they extubated again. I was a little worried because of what had happened before and he did struggle at first with some grunting that the nurses do not like and some striders which is basically like if we were sounding like we were gasping for air. I was so sad and terrified. I went over and had another talk with him like the one I had with him when we first got there that morning about what his mama wants and what is going to work for me. He struggled through out the night. Not bad, but enough to make me worry. By morning around 8:00 he was a new baby. No struggling at all. His doctor came in and she said he looks great and a little bit of grunting is okay. So they took his cannula's air down to 50% and forward we went. They kept taking it down as the day progressed today he is not on any meds anymore either which is fun because he is awake more. I even got to hold him most the day which was such a special thing to me. I also got to feed him. Thank goodness that pumping is actually paying off because it is not fun. They are hoping to take the belly button uiv out tonight.

I feel like things are looking up although we are not out of the dark yet. Emotionally I am doing alright. I have my moments. Like tonight when everyone convinced me to come home to recoup a little bit. I am dying knowing I am not the one there at my little ones side tonight. It is hard. I have often thought of many of my friends who have had children in the NICU this past week. I find them even more amazing now. I try to focus on the positive, but at times it is hard to do that...

Positives...

Paxton is making progress
He is healthy in all other areas we just need his lungs to dry up already!
He is so cute, I cannot stand it.
He is in an amazing hospital with amazing nurses, resp. therapists, doctors and residents.
We are so lucky to have such a wonderful supportive family who has helped us out so much.
My husband has been so wonderful throughout all of this.
I must say I feel really good, REALLY really tired, but as far as just having a section a few days ago, I am doing amazing.
I really have been so blessed with such a wonderful little baby.


Not so positive...
My feet are huge and puffy.
I hate to pump.
I need two of me to be with the baby and be at home with my other children and I don't.
He is not home with us.
Not knowing when he will ever come home.
Being SO so tired.
Not being able to enjoy Andys time off work this week.