Simply Breathtaking: It is finally here!

Oh Maddox. The day is nearly here. Tomorrow you will be FOUR YEARS OLD! I am not sure I have ever, ever seen anyone so excited for their birthday. Just the mention of it sends you to the moon and back. You are so excited about this special day. I think because you feel like you are a triplet, and have to wait after the twins birthday it is so hard to wait a whole three weeks for it to actually come! It is hard. I know, I like birthdays just as much as you.

Tomorrow you will wake up and it will be your day. The house will be filled with green and only green balloons. You will run a few errands with me, just you. You will even get to hear your new brother or sisters' heartbeat. You will have a special lunch with daddy at the "balloon place" you will attend your brother and sister's belated Christmas program and we will finish it with the dinner of your choice and some beautifully wrapped green presents. I am so excited for your day. Tomorrow will be a day of all things happy.

For about two weeks now every morning you wake up you say, "see mom, I am big. Wook at me...I'm big!" It is really cute and really funny especially because if truth be told, you are a tiny little guy. I can see that you are getting taller and your feet and hands are abnormally big compared to your tiny frame and only weighing around 28 pounds.

Your eyes tell stories that words could not begin to tell. You sparkle. You shine. There is something extra special about you. Your accent, even though you have never been to England or Long Island. You colic right above your eyes that still takes me back to the day you were born, the way you express you're mad or frustrated by talking really fast and basically saying the same thing over and over. Your passion for green and chocolate, or shall I say Choco-lit. The way you brother Paxton like you are decades older and wiser, always looking out for him and never ever even once saying a unkind word or using an unkind gesture towards him. Your love for shopping and have I mentioned your love for green? Yes? Well it needs to mentioned a few times. You love to sleep in the hall for some reason, which I think is funny. Your little stork bite gets brighter when you are crying or get mad. Your eyes are dark and your hair too. You remind me often that "mom, you and me have black hair the same." I love that bond about us little man.

I sometimes feel sad that your life has seemed to go by so fast. When Jadeyn and Cortland were only 4 months old you decided it was time to make your appearance in our family. I still remember the shock I felt when I took not one, nor two or even three, but 12 pregnancy tests and found out you were indeed coming. You restored my faith in myself that day. I was nervous, how could I do this I thought, but I knew without one single doubt you were meant to come to us when you did. Your life blessed us in ways I cannot even begin to describe. The love I felt for you that very moment is not the normal kind of love. It is the love only some very lucky people are able to feel.

It is weird for me to think that this whole year you were only 3. That is little. That is really little. You have always seemed so grown up, probably because in essence you were the same as J and C. You talked so much, you did the same things they do, you are at their level on so many things. I would just have to squeeze you every day and tell you to slow down, stay a baby. Be my baby.

You were the most pleasant baby I have had. All of my babies have been a dream. That is part of the reason I do not feel any need to stop having them! It is a breeze! You slept like a champ, at like one too. I remember one time you had just turned four months old and daddy asked me if I had heard you cry yet. We both realized then, that you hadn't really yet. The day you were born they whisked you away to the NICU. (What is up with all my babies feeling the need to visit that place? Well all of them, but the twins, which is just weird in itself!) It has been about 5 hours and I had still not seen you yet. I was so so sad. I finally convince a nurse to wheel me down to the nicu in my bed. Now to back up just a moment, daddy kept going to check on you and ALL he would say was "He is SO SO SO SUPER SWEET!" I heard this more than a dozen times and finally had to ask, well isn't he cute. He told me that you were beyond cute, but your sweetness was above and beyond overwhelming. Well as the nurse wheeled me in, she passed up a darling little tiny baby and I said, out loud, "can't that baby be mine? He is SO cute and so sweet!" She told me know and kept moving then stopped suddenly and told me I was in luck. We already passed you up and my baby was the one I wanted after all! I would have taken any baby truth be told, but I felt so beyond blessed at that moment that you were mine. I have not for once this entire almost 4 years of your life felt any differently. Not once.

You are a special treat my dear sweet Maddox. I can't describe the passion for life you have or the zest for it either, but it is endearing. You are a force. You have bright things in your future. You are someone I am and will be so proud to say I even know, much less be the mother of. You hold so much "incredibleness" in your tiny little almost four body. I love you more than you love the color green or choco-lit. I hope you forever know that.

Happy Birthday sweet boy. The day has come. You are four, tomorrow. Now can we talk about time slowing down bit so I can eat up every moment with you. I love you sweet son.

Pointing out to me that it was green!