Thursday, May 20, 2010

I will sleep well tonight

What a day I have had. I have to say though even this day had it's moments of sunshine, on a very rainy day, but there were moments that I thought were gonna be tough.

It started after going to bed last night at 2:30 am. Yes, you read that right. My kids got to bed early at midnight. It is the bad with the good of family visits. So we woke up very tired. All of us needed more sleep. I walked into Paxton's room who was covered in Poop. Yes you read it right. Fun right? So I rushed him downstairs and started a bath for him. Then we all got ready to head to the gym, but we need to take a little detour to pick up my mother's day gift. I was so excited. I get there and hate it. I wanted to cry. I didn't take it with me and am hoping for some sort of resolution. My wonderful husband spent way too much money on something I don't LOVE LOVE LOVE. So I leave there and had two strikes against me for the day, but still in a happy mood. As I was driving to the gym I can't help but notice some red marks on Maddox that I am hoping are still the markings of his war with the red marker from the other day. When we get to the gym and I investigate more, no such luck. Major rash. MAJOR. In my nine years of being a mom I have never had to deal with rashes. I get every one back in the car because I can't very well take a crazed looking child into the gym and head to Andy's office. We finally get to Andy's office and he agrees, he has no idea what it is. He suggests going to the Walgreen's a mile away to their take care clinic. I fear taking all four little ones with me and my great husband of mine convinces me that the sweet ladies in his office would be happy to keep the twins. I hug him and head to Walgreen's. This is where I get to the part where I impressed myself with how calm I remained. I am pretty calm in most situations. When it comes to my children and their safety I can become a whole other animal.

I walk back to the take care clinic and after waiting for a few minutes and putting my name on the list which says number one the lady which I am assuming was a PA comes out and says can I help you. I say please. She says are you in a hurry because I am in a training right now and then I have to take my lunch in 15 minutes and there is four people ahead of you and I am sure three of them will show up and blah blah blah blah blah. She went on for at least 15 minutes I kid you not. Then I say, well can you just tell me if he has a rash you probably can only take benedryl for it and call it good right? She says no, there are other things and with some things you don't want to take Benedryl. She says you can come back at 3 or 8. Then I say goodness I wish in the time you have taken to tell me you cannot see my child, you just would have seen my child and I could be on my way. She says to me, and I quote again, "No it has been 15 minutes we need 20 minutes per check up." I tell her that I dropped off my two four year olds at their dads office inconvenience them so I would not have to inconvenience you and I will not be able to stay till three or come back at eight. She then says, well I can't help you. I was so so mad. Still holding on to my cool though.

So as I am walking out I bump into the store manager and I ask her if I had a little problem with the take care clinic lady would I talk to you about that or them directly. She sad I could talk to them, but she was interested in knowing what happened. I told her the whole thing and she said she knew personally no one was waiting so that was why we went from number one to number 5 she put in fake names and she was not in training. She told me that she would make sure that her boss knew and that the PA would not be happy with what the manager had heard. I did feel kind of bad for "telling", but I did call Walgreen's and tell them how very happy I was that their manager validated my concerns and was so understanding.

So I try to call my pediatrician and somehow my phone was messed up and I could not hear the people on the other end. So I call Andy's cell phone and yell into my phone not knowing if he can hear me since I can't hear them and ask him to call the peds office and make an appointment. He calls back and says he made one for three. I had about an hour to kill. I took the kids to McDonald's {yuck} and decided to run by Verizon to figure out my phone. He gave me a crash course on my blackberry and guess what folks? I now know how to text!!!!! I am moving up to the 21st century! So I figured that all out and went straight to the doctor.

I got to the doctor and the NA said, man I am at a loss. So my Pediatrician came in and said, "Oh it's hives and just give him some benedryl." I was happy with that diagnosis. I just didn't want to hear something bigger was going on and this was just a symptom. While I was in there my SIL was waiting at our house to hang out. I wanted to get home to her, but realized I had to get Bennett and then realized that he had already gotten on the bus so I asked my mom to come wait for him. Oh boy. What a day. Then I got home and luckily the graduation party that was supposed to be at our house was moved to the church because of the rain.

On the way home I am telling Andy that what was going on and after the conversation Bennett asked me if I thought he said did you get mad at Walgreen's, but he said did she get mad at Walgreen's. I said no I didn't get mad, and Bennett said, "no mom I know you didn't get mad, you never get mad." I am so happy that the boy that has seen me in most moods thinks I never get mad. That made the end of this crazy day SO much better. I love that boy, I love my boy that has a rash, I love my other boys, I love my girl, my mom, my husband, my sister in law. All those people were in my mind and that was how I got through this crazy day. Life is not all that bad and I can't tell you how many times I said, it could be a lot worse.

I do have to mention the most ironic part of this day. When I was getting our food, if you can call it that, at McDonald's, the guy said to me, "Wow it is great to see a smile on your face, it is nice to know someone is having a great day. I can tell you no one in here is having a good day and no one that has come through this line has had a good day." Wow.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

A mental picture

This morning as we were walking into church I reminded the little ones that they were singing in church today. Last time they did this, they did not want to go up. So I was wondering how they would do this time.

When the time came they all ran up and even little Maddox who is not yet in primary {he missed the cut off date by 6 days} ran right up. I didn't stop him. He thinks there is not age difference between him and J and C, so why not?

Seeing all four of my little ones up there singing Mother I love you, I could not tell you how very happy my heart felt. I just was so full of Joy. The tears were flowing before a note was sung. The three little ones were on the steps and Bennett was right next to them. They were all together standing with such satisfaction. Jadeyn had her hand over her heart the whole time. I guess she thought the pledge of allegiance was next. Maddox stood there with his hands in his linen khaki pant pockets with a huge beaming smile across his face as to say, I am doing it and loving it! Cortland who was watching me mouth, "sing sing sing" , because for some reason they were so pleased with themselves being up there that they forget they were there to sing!, was mouthing back to me with his eyes squinting, "I don't know this one!". Then we have sweet Bennett who would never consider not doing what he was supposed to be doing, was singing away looking almost too tall to be in primary. It was a sight. A picture in my mind that I hope to never ever ever forget. A picture worth a thousand words. A picture that will be essential to my memories of being the mom to these wee ones. A happy happy mothers day to me!!!


Motherhood is the thing I am most grateful for in my life. It is a word that I have dreamed of, a word that I have adored and hoped for for most of my life. I remember being in the fourth grade and sitting at my desk waiting for others to finish their weekly spelling test, while doing so I would jot down the names of my future children. I would write their first and middle names and probably the last name of the boy I had a crush on that week, but I just could not wait to meet those little ones. I specifically remember thinking, my life can move fast up until I become a mom. Now every night at the end of the day I am pleading for more time. More time to cuddle my babies, more time to read stories, more time to play catch or help Jadeyn "potty train" her dolly, more time to teach new things, more time to bathe little bodies, more time to caress a tear filled cheek, more time to cheer up, encourage, comfort. Just MORE TIME!! I just love what I do. I just love motherhood. I love that I always knew what I wanted to do when I grew up. I love that even though it isn't necessarily "in style" or revered as success, I love staying home with my little ones. I love being at the crossroads in their lives and them being able to know I am here. Period. I am thankful that this doesn't feel like a sacrifice to me most of all. I know it is a blessing. It is a blessing that I could not be more thankful for. Five beautiful healthy children and a loving supportive husband that loves me for wanting to be a good mom and loves me still when I feel I fall short. If I could go back to that fourth grade version of me with a horrible gone wrong perm, I would say, you think it will be great, but you just have no idea. Motherhood is everything you want it to be and then a lot lot more.

****One day while helping Andy do the yard work, I was cutting the lawn in the back. Paxton just wanted to be by me and hold my hand. We cut the whole back yard almost, hand in hand. It was so adorable. I had to get a picture. He as looking up at me in this photo. I love this picture.****