****One day while helping Andy do the yard work, I was cutting the lawn in the back. Paxton just wanted to be by me and hold my hand. We cut the whole back yard almost, hand in hand. It was so adorable. I had to get a picture. He as looking up at me in this photo. I love this picture.****
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Motherhood is the thing I am most grateful for in my life. It is a word that I have dreamed of, a word that I have adored and hoped for for most of my life. I remember being in the fourth grade and sitting at my desk waiting for others to finish their weekly spelling test, while doing so I would jot down the names of my future children. I would write their first and middle names and probably the last name of the boy I had a crush on that week, but I just could not wait to meet those little ones. I specifically remember thinking, my life can move fast up until I become a mom. Now every night at the end of the day I am pleading for more time. More time to cuddle my babies, more time to read stories, more time to play catch or help Jadeyn "potty train" her dolly, more time to teach new things, more time to bathe little bodies, more time to caress a tear filled cheek, more time to cheer up, encourage, comfort. Just MORE TIME!! I just love what I do. I just love motherhood. I love that I always knew what I wanted to do when I grew up. I love that even though it isn't necessarily "in style" or revered as success, I love staying home with my little ones. I love being at the crossroads in their lives and them being able to know I am here. Period. I am thankful that this doesn't feel like a sacrifice to me most of all. I know it is a blessing. It is a blessing that I could not be more thankful for. Five beautiful healthy children and a loving supportive husband that loves me for wanting to be a good mom and loves me still when I feel I fall short. If I could go back to that fourth grade version of me with a horrible gone wrong perm, I would say, you think it will be great, but you just have no idea. Motherhood is everything you want it to be and then a lot lot more.