to bennett

Oh goodness, oh my. My oldest.  The one that I learned on.  The one that gave me the gift of mother hood.  The one that brings me such joy because of many things, but especially because of your choices and desires, your talent and mind.  

Oh Bennett, I just can't for the life of me decide how or why I got to be your mom.  

From the moment you were born, you have been so good.  You want to be good, if you are told something you did or said isn't good, you are shocked and sorry.  

You would never deliberately do something you know to be wrong, or unkind.  

I am grateful for that.  I hear often what a good kid you are and I can only say, "That's so sweet of you to say."  I could say, yes I know!  He is pretty amazing!, but I would be pretty annoying,

 but that is certainly what I feel.  

7th grade has been so much better for you.  6th grade was a struggle and I am so happy that is behind you.  When we decided to move you were so sad to move from your school. 

 I remember being so sad for you and one day knowing you were supposed to go to your new school that was part of the reason why we found this house was for you to attend a different jr high.  

It didn't make sense at the time, but sure enough, it was true.  

You have grown and flourished at this new school, you have made many new friends and really enjoy and appreciate your teachers and faculty.  

You have found this new talent.  At Christmas time you wouldn't sing while playing your guitar because you claimed you were NOT a singer.  

Who knew that just a few months later you would be portraying in your first ever musical role as the Beast in Beauty and the Beast. 

 I had the privilege to help out as the musical director.  It was so fun to watch you with your peers and these new friends.  

I just was so happy to hear so many kids and teachers come to me saying how good and kind you were and were a friend they could trust and enjoyed being around.  

That is saying a lot.  Especially in Jr. High!  

I always say that you kind of gave it to me too easy for my first.

 Nothing has every really been a struggle or difficult for you, 

I have never really had to keep you in line or fear what you may be doing or saying.  

Although, I have been extremely grateful for this, it has made other children a  whole other challenge.  ;)

The other day I found on my phone a goal list for you.  

1st class scout

read to Alma

better my football game

learn 3 broadway songs

1 hour of house work

read 3 classic books

20 minutes of piano

run 3 5ks

keep straight A's

That's just who you are.  You are looking for ways to improve and this list just brought tears to my eyes.  You just want to be good.  I am so happy about that.

You are getting older with more of a social life.  That is so fun to watch and see. Of course I wish I could keep you as a baby forever, but I haven't figured out a way to do that yet.  So, I am just going to enjoy this season as much as I can.  Thank you for still wanting me around and spending time with me.  It's practically my favorite.

Bennett, thank you.  Thanks for our long walks and talks.  Thanks for your desire and goals.  Thanks for always giving me the benefit of the doubt.  Thanks for teaching me the ropes.  Thanks for going easy on me.  Thanks for being mine and His.  Love you Bennett Boo!  

to emmy

I don't think there is any surprise when I say I am a sentimental girl.  

Maybe perhaps to the extreme?  I often have tears in my eyes.  Mostly of joy and happiness.  

I get choked up over simple accomplishments, quiet moments, thoughts, gestures and so on.  Last night as I cuddled up my sweet little Emmy asleep in my bed dressed in one of her many princes dress ups, I was over come with love for this sweet little girl.  I love her.  Like LOVE her.  

I love all my kiddos to crazy measures, it's maybe the only thing I do well in life, is love them, but as I held her in my arms and tears streaming down my face I just kept thinking "I wish I could tell you".  I wish I could tell her how amazing you are for all of us.  I wish I could tell you how sweet she are.  I wish I could tell you how you soften hearts and calm our crazy.  

I wish I could tell you how precious and pure your little voice is.  I wish I could tell you how grateful I am you came to us and how grateful I am you are  raising us it seems.  I wish I could tell you simply how perfect and sweet you are.  You really are. 

 I know I am your mom, I know I should be saying this and maybe NOT be saying it to the world to seem to be one of those moms, but your goodness is something else.  It sure makes me want to be better.  It sure invites the spirit and excludes the adversary.  

I am blessed to have you in our home.  We have thought this since day one.  Since I was pregnant with you really.  I finally with you had a somewhat decent pregnancy.  I wasn't sick I wasn't uncomfortable I was just content and happy.  

When you were born it all made sense.  You were just good.  It hasn't changed for the three years we have had you either.  Going back to my thoughts last night though, I wished I could just tell you all these things, how in fact you make life that much better.  

The reality is I can tell you.  I was in fact, but it went beyond that.  I wished I could tell your future self, what your real self really was.  Might not make much sense, but to me it did.  

I love you Emmy girl. 

I love you Emmy girl with all I have.  I often times do not feel deserving of such a precious, gift, but I am always grateful for it.  

One thing that I know I need to do more of is write.  Write about my kids, about our lives, my relationships, our every days.  I am going to.  I am writing for no one other my family.  I am not even sure if anyone reads this anymore, I am not sure why they would since it's been years since my last update, and I have no idea how to check it, so I am just going to start from here.  Heres to a new volume of English Family Happenings and writings!

It is about time.  That is all I have to say.  My desire to blog, or keep a journal account of our happenings is still here, but for whatever reason, I have not blogged.  In a long long time.

So what has been going on with our family in the last year?  I do not even know where to start.  I guess a good place to start is we moved.  That will be a whole other blog post, but that certainly was a big part of our year.  Andy got sick, twice, which is so not like him.  The kids are growing and growing, still makes me sad.  Lots and lots and lots of "do it yourself" projects.  A very long, cold winter.  A trip to Disney World.  Bennett discovered his love for theatre and music.  Still chugging a long as the Relief Society President, going on three years.  Andy is the Stake Presidents secretary.  Emmy turned three, and is officially out of any state of baby hood.  Bennett is a teenager, Maddox is in first grade and can spell Chrysanthemum (I couldn't, I had to spell check), the twins are in second grade and far too old for my liking.  They were baptized. We had a wonderful Christmas with lots of family visiting and get togethers.  My kids have discovered Full House and it is not part of our families loves.  Paxton had his first and last year of preschool and is seeming so old.  Lots of things happening and going on.  It is a happy life.  A good life.  A busy life and basically my favorite.

I really hope to journal more and just keep track of the things going on in our lives.  I am telling you, Facebook was the demise of my blogging.  It is much easier and quicker to add a one liner to remember what is going on with us, then actually taking it steps further to the blog.  ;) I am recommitting myself.  It will not be necessarily the most fun thing to read, but at least weekly I am going to keep up on what is going on and what we are up to.  Heres to a new dedication and time to keeping account of this thing I love most, my family.