Monday, December 14, 2009

2005: our early Christmas gifts

This morning at 9 am, when I was snuggling with Jadeyn on the couch I reminisced about the on call Dr. telling me four years ago today to the minute, "ok, let's walk over to the hospital and meet your babies!" I was so eager to meet them up to that point, but for some reason when the time had actually come, I was second guessing this whole twin thing. I mean of course it was going to happen, but was I ready? It didn't really matter, they came anyway. I talked her into letting me go home and grab a bag and have someone come pick up Bennett and return back and that entire time I was just on a high. I could not believe the day I had been dreaming about, praying for and wanting so bad was here. I told Cortland today that for 3 years all 1095 days I wanted him so bad. I prayed and prayed and prayed for him, and finally the time had come, the RIGHT time was here and our sweet little hearts were born. Something was reborn within me that day. I knew that my life as a mother would never be the same, I knew that I was being entrusted with not only Bennett, but now two more special little ones and I was going to do everything I could to be the best I could be.

My little Bennett at that time did not seem so little. He was four and that seemed SO old. In fact, I told Andy that when he came to the hospital to see the twins for the first time, I talked to him like he was an adult, and handed off the babies to him like he could handle it all. He was ONLY four! Now that the twins are that age, it seems SO little and young. I guess the difference is he was my first and seemed a lot older? I don't know, but none the less, I cannot believe they are now the age Bennett was when I had them. Seems impossible.

That day December 14, 2009, was the day our family jumped from a family of three to a family of five. We skipped right over two children. I had ALWAYS wanted a large(er) family and what I wanted was right there in front of my eyes. I had CHILDREN. I had a beautiful little tiny baby girl and two amazing little boys. I could not have asked for anything more. I was as happy as I could possibly be.

All day long I have been saying in my head and aloud, "my babies are four today", "I cannot believe you are four", "it is your birthday"...and so on. I just cannot wrap my brain around that. I can't. We had a busy day today. Well busy in the sense of not ever sitting down, but not in the sense of being outside the house. My mom came over and we baked cookies all day. Well it was more like she did all my laundry and I baked the cookies, I think I got off lucky and she thinks the same, so we are a good team! We let the kids play with all their new toys they got last night at their party, and just run around and had a good time. We took them to Monkey Joe's tonight and let them jump around and play and then out to dinner where kids eat free and my parents and Andy and I got the two meals for 14.99, so our party of 9 ate for 29 dollars. That is incredible I think and needed to be noted in their birthday blog post;)!

I think they have been asked enough today, how old are you and they are used to saying four now. I am not sure if I am used to them being four yet, and I am not sure if that will ever happen to tell you the truth. Sometimes I like to close my eyes and picture them just 4 and 6 pounds again, hugging them, cradling them and catching the sweet baby scent from their presence and pretend like they are just tiny babies again, and pretend like I could be lucky enough to relive these past four years with them, but I cannot and so I will just enjoy these days with them and the many many more to come. I feel so blessed to have them in my life. Andy and I both do. We take time to talk about each one of our children before we go to bed and we always end up saying, "how did we get so lucky to have these five?" I am thankful to be their mom, to have not only the boy/girl twins I always wanted, but to be Jadeyn and Cortland's mommy.

1 comment:

Amber said...

I LOVE this post. So many sweet and tender feelings were expressed that I can relate to. Erik and I decided that we deserve a set of twins now.:) But, one thing I am thankful for is that the Lord knows what is best for us.